The Eery truth

There is a darker side to this island than what you see in the pictures and hear about our blog. Crime has no limitations, no jurisdiction. There is a funny thing about crime. Sometimes, you never see it, or even know its there, but it lives. Even out here, half way around the world, on a tiny paradise island, crime lives. I am not going to paint over it with a brush and replace it with pictures of sunny beaches and coconut shakes, but instead, tell you what really goes on. However, first let me give you some background information.

In 1933 Koh Tao became a political prison. Thousands of criminal minds alike and different, were banished to the confined walls of a jail cell, surrounded by dense, uninhabited jungle and unforgiving waters. A nightmare for detainies and an oasis for touists (It is ironic I know). Things stayed this way for nearly fourteen years until 1947, when the Prime Minister at that time pleaded and recieved the Royal pardon for all prisoners who were lucky enough to find themselvs here. Once more Koh Tao was abandoned.

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In the same year, two fisherman (Brothers) from Koh Phangan- a neighboring island- decided to move and begin there lives on what was at the time, a pristine island. The two brothers started families and formed the first generation of indigenous peoples to begin living here.

Nearly thirty years later, the first backpackers reached Koh Tao by longboat, and started a trend. Since then, Koh Tao has thrived with more than 500,000 tourists from all over the world every year. However, with so many foreigners coming to the island, opening businesses and taking land, the locals, which by this time have extended a few generatons, began to plan a mutiny.

I first heard about this mutany from an Aussie who has been living here for five years. He was very eager to tak about it with me, as if no one had brought up the subject in many years, which turned out to be the case. Many of the long termers, and most of the locals are reluctant to speak about what goes on here on Koh Tao, fearful that something may happen to them.

As the Aussie continus to peak my curiosity, I peak his interest and continue to ask questions, digging deeper into the dark history behind this island. He goes on to tell me how the island is run by mafias. The first, second, and third generation families that inhabitated this oasis began to form sectional mafia groups, each family taking over a different section of the island. They control who builds what, who sells what, and exert command through the usual style associated with organized crime. If someone decides they want to start a business, whether they be locals or foreigners, they must pay a percentage of income to the mafia. From what I hear and understand, they are quite understanding and geneous, only demanding what you are capable of giving. More so with the local thais is there a violence. People getting greedy and refusing to pay their way will find out exactly how the mafia enforces there control. It is not an uncommon tale, where a man has been sitting at a bar, who has previously spat in the faces of the mafia, to get shot, stabbed, or miracerously dissapear.

This type of organized crime went on for many years until 2013, when two british tourists were viscously murdered on the beach. I cant find someone who is willing to tell me if the attack was directly intentional, or a random act of violence, but it was none the less ruthless. A man and woman, enjoying there vacation and lounging about one night, met there demise on a beach not far from the Aussie’s boats. The Aussie being so close to the scene gave me a descript understanding of what happened, but I wont go into detail. Needless to say the man and woman were brutally attacked and there bodies were recovered later the next day.
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Since then, things on this island have begun to change. The police force have increased ten fold, and no longer take big bribes from members of organized crime. They began to crack down on everything from drugs to immigration.

“Five years ago, it wasnt uncommon to be out at the pub, lighting one up and hanging with your mates. You see, we knew which bars to go to and which to not go to. The families of the mafia who bribe whatever police there was here and it would keep them out of everyones business. They wouldnt dare come up to any of the hang out spots, now everything has changed, mate. Now, you’ll get locked up good and pay your way out.”

The Aussie continues on for an hour, talking about the time before the murders. I ask him if the police know who commited the crime.

“Everyone knows, mate. But no one will say a word in fear that something bad will happen to them. Its a small island, everyone knows everyone.”

I can sense he is telling the truth, because many other people are reluctant to speak about it. Things will not be this way for much longer, however. With the police making a stand and things becoming official, many people think the mafia rule is coming to an end. In the next five years, its suspected by not only the Aussie, but by people in the dive community, and some of the locals, the mafia will have been washed clean and Koh Tao will join civilization for good.

Playing devils advocate, that also means more laws, more regulations, and inevitably more people. People bring along with them businesses, houses, cars, and other variables that could poison the beauty of this island. Koh Tao will not be an Oasis for much longer, I fear. More and more people are visiting this tiny island every year. As one tourist leaves, he sets forth to tell ten more about the wanders of this place. Today there are many places you can go here to have a moment of clarity, and to be alone. In a decade, im not sure you’ll still be able to find solitude. It’s a shame to have such violence in such a beautiful place, of course. But is it worth the sanctity of this island?

Michael Gilmore, for Scuba Sex Sunshine, signing off.
(Always wanted to do that)

The other 75% of the World 



Germany, Canada,  Australia, India, United Kingdom, Scotland, and America. On 1 dive boat today, I connected with 23 people from 7 different countries who all share the same curiosity as I. We want to see the rest of the world. By rest of the world, I don’t mean only how we’re all on Koh Tao embracing new cultures. I’m talking about the other 75% of the world, what lays below the horizons and under the seas. 

Rewind:
Everyday I set my alarm for 7:00am and every day I wake up exactly 32 minutes earlier. This morning was no difference, the only difference in waking up today was the fact that it was my day off from working and I had my first course at New Way to get my PADI open water dive certification. I woke up nervous and excited for this new adventure. Mike made us a bacon, onions, and potatoes scram and toasted up some bread we got from the bakery. As we sat outside eating our breakfast together, all we talked about was diving.

“Just think Cass, if you didn’t go diving, you’d only be seeing 25% of our world”

Something about what Mike had just said really stuck with me all day
After we ate we cleaned up, and headed up to the dive shop for my class. Since Mike is a Dive Master Trainee (DMT) at the shop, one thing he does is sit in on courses, to see how they’re taught. Which is also awesome that today I got a glimpse of what he does every day while I’m at my job. For the first few hours this morning we did book work and knowledge reviews. We finished around 10:30am and had 2 hours to kill before it was time to get on the boat. We went to a little restaurant and ordered a coconut shake, large water, Singha(which we didn’t really order, but the brought it out and Mike drank anyway), calamari, fried noodles with chicken and cashew chicken stir fry. After finishing lunch and paying our 480 baht bill ($14 USD) we had more time to kill so we walked around the stores in Sairee.

When we got back to the dive shop, we loaded on to the bed of the truck and were off to the pier.
The 2 Chinese girls, Canadian man, German man, and I learned more open water skills as other people in different classes worked with their instructors and jumped in the water. It was pretty shitty weather for my first dive, but it was still fun.
When I first jumped in the water I was uncomfortable breathing with the regulator but apparently that’s natural. The 7 of us (5 students, our instructor, and Mike our trainee) swam over to the shoreline where we could stand to practice some skills. It was comforting having Mike there. He said I did a kick ass job under water, and was exactly what you’d expect as a new student dating a dive master. (Although he may be a little biased)
Being under water for the 25 minutes was really mind blowing to me. We didn’t really see much because we were working on skills but it was insane to me that I just spent 25 minutes of my life under the water and here I am now, alive and breathing.
When I went skydiving before I came here with my friends, I freaked out. My friend Moe told me how she’s always wanted to fly, and that skydiving was the closest thing to get her there, so she was excited to finally be able to fly.
I thought of what she said as I was on my dive. Under water I felt like I was flying, I reminded my self not to be fearful or nervous and that “this is now, this is happening” I needed to live in the moment, take in my surroundings and really appreciate what I was doing.
It was awesome. I understand why Mike wants to make a living out of it, and I haven’t even gotten to see all of the beauties in which he marvels about.
When we got back to the boat, it was really stormy. The wind picked up and the waves approached the boat head on. The Dramamine that I precautionary consumed thinking would save me from moments like this really bit me in the ass. I was so sea sick. I felt shit faced. The whole boat ride home I laid on top of the boat, trying not vomit, so dizzy and very unhappy. 
I laid up there listening to all the different stories everyone had to share with each other about where they’re from, what its like back at home and how they ended up on this boat today. I wanted to contribute and ask more questions but I was struggling alone with raising my head high enough to brush the sea salted curls off my forehead. When we got off the boat, we went back to the shop, learned how to clean our equipment and we were done for the day. Mike dropped me home and then went out to get some sandwiches and apple juice, he came back and we ate them and by then I felt pretty better so decided to write and as usual Mike is serenading me on ukulele. Tomorrow I wish I could be off finishing my course with the rest of my class from today but I’ll be back at the resort holding onto my receptionist duties so I’ll just have to jump into part two with another class on my next day off. Hopefully the seas will be calmer and I’ll get to engage with the other divers a little more. I wonder what countries they’ll come from.

Kidnapping 101

Lets get right into it, shall we? The rain has come to lay over our little island for the first time since I’ve been here. As the clouds fill the air and provide us with another week of fresh water, it’s refreshing to see everything change. Yesterday for the first time in weeks, I put on a long sleeve shirt, and it felt foreign. The skin on my forearm feels fragile to its touch, but provides a sense of calm, I suppose it reminds me of home. Five minutes later… Literally as I sit here to talk about the rain, the sun prevailed and pushed through the clouds, drying everything and once again… reminding us were are on an island. Thats just how things are here. This week, the majority of my time has been filled with diving. Assisting with classes and occasionally fun diving, I have seen everything from juvenile black tips to large grouper. Anything worth seeing hides underneath the large pinnacles of coral or digs itself in the sand. Ive trained my eyes to spot these hidden wonders, and have become quite good at identifying the marine life as well. Of all the amazing things Ive seen this week, the most astonishing site has come from our boat captain. He is a peculiar man, but an interesting one. He doesn’t talk much, not that I would understand him anyway. The language barrier between us does not cloud our communication however. I return from a dive, in which the student I was assisting threw up into his regulator (I suppose he was very nervous about diving…I also suppose he was a little bitch). When I return to the boat and assure myself that the young man will live and be okay, I head to the back of the boat to grab some fresh fruit, and wash the taste of salt water out of my mouth. As Im doing so, I make eye contact with the captain, who is sunbathing on the hot floor and doing something with his hands (Get your mind out of the gutter people). In one hand he holds a bit of white rice, which he acquired from a silver pot to his left, I suppose his breakfast. In his right hand he is holding a fishing line about 5 meters (fifteen feet) long, with a small hook at the end. Just before I was going to ask him what he’s doing, he swings his right arm up, along with a nice size fish attached the hook. Immediately my attention is caught, and I walk up to him. In front of him is a bucket, half filled with water and they other half filled with ten fish. He looks at me and smiles, and through the language barrier I can tell he knows Im impressed. I bing my hands to my mouth and question him. “You eat?”, I asked Again he smiles, and looks at the fish, not before rubbing his tummy and saying, “Mmmhhh”. I recognize his answer and ask him if I can sit and watch. Im sure you are asking what the rice is for, let me explain. What he does is place one single grain of white rice onto the hook. Once he’s done that he takes a handful of rice from the bowl and throws it into the ocean, and immediately the fish start to bombard it. Once he notices the fish are feasting on the rice, he drops the hook (with the one piece of rice attached) among the other sinking grains. The goal is a fish will mistakenly bite the hooked rice, and once it does, the captain brings the line up with his bare hands. I was so amazed by this method of fishing I called my buddy later on that night, who is addicted to fishing, and told him to try it. Later on that night I went to the local butcher and acquired some fresh chicken and vegetables, since Cassie and I bought a hot plate, and can now begin to cook our own food. As Cassie was at work, I began to prepare our dinner… a slow cooked concoction of chicken, potato, vegetables, rice, and various seasonings. I love to cook, and somewhat pride myself on being good at it. Once I set everything to cook on the hot plate, I set off to pick Cassie up from work, a simple task. Well, it turned out to not be that simple. Before leaving the house, I checked my computers time to assure that I would be on time, 4:45 it said. Right on time because Cassie gets off at five. Once I arrive at the usual spot where I pick her up, Im bewildered to see she is not there. Perhaps she is still walking? I park the bike and make my way to the beach she has to walk from work to the “spot”. What the hell? She isn’t there. I loiter for a few minutes before I start to get worried. Twenty minutes later… What the hell! If there is one thing Cassie is, its punctual. She is never late. My mind begins to run wild… Did she fall off the bridge into shark infested water? Has she been abducted? WHO GETS HER MONEY IF SHE DIES?! (just kidding….but probably me). Now I start to run about frantically. I make my way back to the house to get my phone, something I should have grabbed when I left to begin with. Now, after a ten minute drive back to the house, I am driving back to the “spot”, to get wifi at the local cafe and check my messages. Maybe she is trying to get in touch with me? Maybe the man who abducted her is trying to call me for ransom ?! Now sweating bullets I walk into the cafe to join the wifi…but not before ordering a coconut shake. Kidnapping make me thirsty. I connect and check my messages…nothing. Not a stitch of email, text, or message. Something is very wrong. I message Cassie on Facebook and say, “What the hell, where are you,” and I wait for a response. I see that she begins to type and begin to bite my upper lip…Im about to hear the terms and conditions of her safe return. “What?”, replies Cassie. Okay, now Im confused. “What do you mean what, Ive been looking everywhere for you!” “I get off at five dude…”, she says to me. And now, the stupidity sets it. I look at my phone time to discover it says 4:45. Had The last hour not existed, have I entered a time warp? Perhaps I forgot to reset the time on my computer to island time, and not eastern standard time. Shit, Im an idiot. The sweat begins to dry from my forehead, and relieved I don’t have to spend money to ensure her safety I apologize and try to laugh it off. She laughs at me and thinks its cute I was so worried. I laugh at myself and think I need medication. I finally begin to enjoy my shake and await her arrival. a few minutes pass and there she is, right on time and punctual as always. We ride back home and laugh about the chain of events I went through, before walking inside to an aromatic meal cooking in our kitchen. Moral of the story? Always be prepared for a kidnapping…

Oh Sh*t

It’s almost been three weeks since starting this new “Thailand chapter” in our lives. We’ve adjusted to life sans airconditioning and driving on the left side of the road. We’ve learned our way around the island and can tell you some bangin’ sunset spots. We’ve met Mary-Jane, watched some She-mans shake it, and our biggest accomplishment which happened yesterday, a backpacker said “it’s nice meeting locals while traveling” talking about me…have I already made it as a local? I’m still working on my military time skills and recognizing that 12/06/15 means it’s not December 6th but it’s more obviously the 12th of June. But just as quickly as we decided to purchase those one way tickets back in March, we are finding ourselves quickily fitting in to this lifestyle and we certainly don’t see ourselves wanting to leave anytime soon. 



This weekend was as eventful as it was uneventful. I was lucky to not only find myself with 2 days off in a row but was excited to score them on a Saturday and Sunday. Unfortunately, it was my turn to get the shit end of the stick. Quite literally, Mikes food poisoning made its round to my body and I had never missed the comfort of my own throne and extra soft toilet paper, possibly even missed the luxury of flushing the toilet with out using a bucket, so badly. 
Saturday:
We woke up around 8 and headed off to get breakfast before Mike went off for a Dive. I happily enjoyed  a double shot of espresso and a fresh coconut. Mike swears we were eating next to Bonno from U2, I told him if it really was Bonno than he should go tell him how we didn’t appreciate his whole shitty album automatically downloading itself onto our iTunes. 
Eventually Mike went for a dive and I hung out in Sairee, walking around and reading my book on the beach. I successfully unlocked my phone and was able to get a Thai number and 3G hooked up to it. I bought myself a mask and snorkel, with the anticipation of starting my diving on my days off at New Way this week. Than I hung out at the dive shop waiting for Mike to come back, drinking a large Singha and playing cards with some of the guys.    
We got back to the bungalow, took quick showers and headed out for dinner and some weekend drinks. But that plan went to shit real quick.  (Am I punny today or just disgusting?) 




Just like when the monsoon rolled in Friday night when we were about to watch the sunset on the beach, my stomach failed me just as our meals were coming out. We left, stopped for extra water and Gatorade and laid in bed watching The Dark Night for the 7th time this week. (We forgot to bring DVDs here, and only have 2 movies downloaded on Mikes Mac. #firstworldproblems )
Sunday 
We woke up for breakfast, but after being up all night I was in no condition to be out and about. We headed home from town and I went back to sleep as Mike did some course work for the dive class he’s taking. I woke up in the afternoon, pretty bummed to be spending my day off sick, and insisted we go snorkel at the beach. That was fun for 20 minutes until that idea also, went to shit. 
We came back up to the bungalow and I went for another round of The Dark Night as Mike did more course work. 
With the data on my phone, we can now get on the Internet in our bungalow. We checked the Koh Tao for sale Facebook page, and today we finally picked up a hot plate! We also met up and checked out a dirt bike that may be a little more expensive than I think we should spend, but we will be buying it tomorrow. Mike brings up a valid argument that when we leave, we can sell the bike and hopefully get back what we put down. 
As I update you about our weekend, we are sitting outside with mosquito incense burning and Mike is serenading me on ukulele. He almost convinced me that there was something hissing inside, I’ve got to stop falling for all his jokes.
I’m feeling a little better now, so we’re going to head out to the market so we can start taking full advantage of our new hot plate! 
Tomorrow I’m back to work and Mike will head off for an afternoon dive. 
Hopefully this week is smooth sailing and we don’t have to put up with any kind of shit. 

Working hard or hardly working 


It’s hour 5 of sitting here. I am the new receptionist at a very high end resort on the southern more secluded side of Koh Tao. My job is to check guests in and out, show them to their rooms, and other basic hotel receptionist things you could think of. As I sit here on my second day, my mind is racing and I begin to question everything. How did I get here? Is this where I want to be? Where would I be if I werent right here, right now? 

I find that life is the biggest series of little events, all linked together, and all unknowingly correspond with one another to lead you to where you are in this very minute.
I can think of the event that may have lead me here. It was the day I met Mike, I was working as a waitress at Chilis at the time, and left my shift early because I attended my friends funneral earlier that day and was just not up for working. When I got home, I laid  around on my couch and recieved a text from some friends going to a food and truck festical at the winery. I decided I might as well go, it was doing me no good sitting at home. When i went, I obviously instagrammed a picture. That’s when Mike  (Who’s number I didnt have, and how he had mine is still a mystery) sent me a text asking if I were still there and told me to come meet him by the live band. And that was that. We’ve been dating since. That chain of events, has lead me to this man. Who has his own chain of events that lead him to me, and somehow all of these things have interconnected and lead us to here. Living together abroad and just figuring it out. Not knowing that every action and decision we currently are making will inevitably lead us down the next path that life is meant to take us down.

To get to my job I take the bike about 5 minutes down to the more south side of the island, and park it in a small alley. I than walk through a resort than onto the beach. I walk the beach for a few minutes and it leads up to a concrete bridge. The bridge looks like a sidewalk, no walls or boundaries and a steep fall into shallow waters. The bridge leads you to a restaurant, where you take your shoes off, pass through, than put your shoes back on and continue to a wooden bridge. Than you walk some more beach until you hit a path leading to the forest. Follow that path to the resort, walk a plethora of steps and you make it. Saturday is my day off. I have a morning date with a coconut shake at the beach and hopefully Mike will be done diving in time to join me for an afternoon hike.

Highs and Lows

I’ve been in a tranquil state of mind since I arrived in this country.  The jungle, the ocean, the people, they have all made such an impact on why I have deemed this country the most gorgeous place I’ve visited thus far in my life.  And boy, these last couple of days have solidified that decision, for the most part.

Yesterday, as Cassie and I were enjoying a dip in the water by our house, I could not believe my eyes.  Could this country seriously be any better?  I know if my friends were here and laid eyes on the same sight, they would be at a loss for words.  A few of them may even be in a  bit of trouble, I can name one in particular…you know who you are (Anton).  You’re probably asking yourself, “Come on Mike, what is this magnificent site you’re referring to?”.  Well gentleman (and those ladies who are into broad and broad action), Im talking about boobs.  Boobs!  Everywhere I looked, coming from every direction.  Real class act boobs.  Boobs with personality.  Boobs that know how to make a man feel a special, you know?  I have been here for two weeks, and just realized that twenty percent of the women on my beach swim topless.  

Disclaimer:  No boobs are better than Cassie’s, let the record show.

 Anyway, I digress from the boob thing, there are more important matters at hand…. Butts! (Just kidding)

Wednesday June10, 2015

I started diving with New Way Dive Shop, and as expected, have no complaints thus far.  They are the perfect mix between play and business.  About twenty of the goofiest people I have ever seen working in one place, make up some of the most professional and knowledgeable divers Ive ever had the pleasure to work with.  They have taken me under their wing, and its a good feeling to be apart of there team.  It came at a good time, as Cassie just started her first day of work today as well.  So, while Cassie is off behind a desk doing “real people” things, Im off swimming with fish and helping myself to the cookie jar thats conveniently located on board the dive boat.

Its unfortunate, because I wish I had pictures to show everyone the marvels that surround this island, but I’ve been assisting with classes and don’t have much time to worry about snapping a shot.  None the less, what a beauty it is.  Minutes after submerging myself this morning ( at 5:30 am), I got to see blue spotted sting rays, puffer fish the size of soccer balls, and barracuda that could rip my face off.  I can’t stress enough how refreshing it is to be able to not only see all of this amazing life, but also my hand in front of my face.  Diving in New Jersey is a nightmare compared to Koh Toa.  In New Jersey, I worry not about whats around me, but whether I’ll need a staff infection upon returning to the boat.  Thailand truly is a breath of fresh water.

After returning home from a day filled with good diving, Cassie insists that I take a shower, something she bugs me about on a daily basis.   I don’t quite see the need for this habitual bathing process, but it makes Cassie much happier, and shortens the quarreling time.  The usual argument goes something like this…

“Mike, you smell, take a shower”.

“Cassie, we live on an island, why do I have to shower all the time?  I just got out of the water for christ sake!”

“Blah blah blah blah blah…”, is how Cassie’s rebuttal usually sounds to me.

Tired of hearing her words penetrate my smelly ears, I fold and bathe myself.  At last, comes my favorite part of the day…dinner time!

Starting about a week ago, I have been craving a good barbecue, which doesn’t come often on this island.  Cassie and myself squander over where to dine, and we have a good look through the Koh Tao brochure which we scooped up at the pier.  It shows all the good dining spots as well as beaches, shops, etc.  We both come a decision on what sounds like a good place to satisfy my craving for BBQ, a place called Safari Grill, located off of the main road.  We hop up top the bike and make our way to the restaurant.

After some trouble locating it, we finally grab a seat and look at the menu.  It was a very easy choice for both of us… we ordered the Combo Platter, a irresistible merger of bbq chicken and ribs.  We ate like kings and queens.

Thursday June 13,2015

About 12:30 am

It was at this time, I awoke with a panic, withdrawing my earlier statement of eating like kings and queens.  I sure didn’t feel like a king, in fact I felt like my insides were shriveling and inevitably making their way to the surface, by any means possible.  I never thought I could miss home so much.  This continued well into the morning, and well into that late evening until Cassie arrived home.  I had not moved from the position she last saw me in, unless it was to run to the bathroom, which was occurring about every fifteen minutes or so.  I felt as if my body had rejected so much of my stomach that I’d lost weight! To my dismay, the mirror said otherwise (Im still fat).

Food poising ladies and gentleman, the worst I had ever experienced.  It’s time like these that you remember the comforts of home.  How gentle my bed was to me during my times of need and how my parents would care for me.  With Cassie at work all day and me sick in bed, I did a terrible job of caring for myself.  I barely drank any water, put nothing else in my stomach, and just lay on my rock bed.  Sick, incapacitated, and alone.

Friday June 12, 2015

Its friday morning now, and I have just awoken to a healthy digestive system.  Im feeling good and ready to live again. Im ready to get up and start my day, which only consists of diving.  I owe an apology to Cassie for being a smelly, sick, useless boyfriend these last twenty four hours.  Perhaps Ill make it up to her by taking a shower… even I admit I could use one right now.

Bungalow Basics



Bungalow life and island life correlate to each other in the matter of simplicity. It’s as easy as stating everything here is simply just, simple. Our days come as easily as riding the tides and moving with the current. 



The bungalow is simple. 
You walk up the semi-rusted steps onto the balcony, you take your shoes off and open the door. Straight ahead is the bed, directly to the right is our “kitchen” area and next to that is our bathroom. Along the wall is a big dresser closet that holds our clothing. We have a nightstand, a fan, a tv stand sans the TV and we are surrounded by 9 tall windows, not including the little one in the kitchen and the little one in the bathroom. We have a ceiling fan which we still aren’t sure if it’s even helping and we have a floor fan, which is our knight in shining armor.





 
The kitchen is petite and I’m still not positive if it is worthy of being called a kitchen. It has a mini fridge and a leaky sink. We bought a water boiler, which I will assume you understand the uses out of that. We’re in the process of buying a hot plate/ electric grill so we can eat out less. We have cereal, PB&J, bread, Nutella, cup of noodles, and trail mix to snack on. The dishes are always clean, except when mike finishes using one and I’m not around. (Don’t worry babe, I’m not complaining-just explaining) 




Our bungalow bathroom is different than any bathroom I’ve seen in the western culture. It compares in the fact that we have a sink, shower, and toilet yet the way to use these utilities differs pretty interestingly. It’s all just all so simple. The toilet is a bowl, essentially a toilet bowl. It brings on the true meaning of “If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down” next to the toilet bowl is a faucet, with a bucket underneath.
To use: 
Step 1: do your business
Step 2: if it’s yellow, let it mellow. 
Step 3. If it’s brown continue to step 4
Step 4: turn on faucet and fill bucket with water, turn off faucet. 
Step 5: after completing your business, take bucket and pour into toilet until everything has “flushed”
And there you have it crowd, in just 5 simple steps, you now know how to flush a toilet by yourself! Cheers!
On the other side of the toilet is one of those things you get to rinse your bum hole with, not mandatory. 
We have a sink, with one little stand on top for our toothbrushes and deodorant and a little round mirror. 
The shower is just a shower head with a nob, it also has another box where we can adjust the heat, but living where we live, we look forward to our evening cold shower together (save water, shower together!)
The shower head is adjacent but a little to the right of the toilet. No walls, no boundaries. A little drain sits in the corner. 
Our bed is equally as hard as sleeping on the floor. We sleep on a sheet, with another sheet sometimes on top of us, sometimes between us, sometimes crumpled where ever it ends up in our tossing and turning of our hot uncomfortable slumbers. But somehow every morning we wake up between 6:30-8, ready to take on the day. 
There’s little baby lizards running around our walls, we’ve found one cockroach prancing around our kitchen, and there’s spiders under the kitchen sink. Good thing I’ve got Mike to kick out all my unwelcome visitors. 

Welcome to the Island life, as simple as it gets, and as easy as it comes. 

While you were out 


No better way to start my evening than watching a grumpy old Thai man spew words at me I don’t quite understand and waving his arms up at me in the up most unfriendly manner. I get it guy, beach is closed, but I want to go to the restaurant! For a split second, this man startles me. He keeps yelling at me in Thai and pointing to another path. I place my hands together as if I’m going to pray, smile, nod my head and walk away. In my head I told the man to piss off, what’s the big deal if I cross a few feet of sand, buddy? Looks like there’s actually someone on this island that isn’t getting laid. 

Anyway, I finally figured out I had to take the path I’ve never checked out before which lead me up to the back of the restaurant, Aow Leuk 2. It happens to be the closest to our bungalow with the strongest wifi connection and the best coconut shakes on the island.
I had a very laid back day but I guess when you’re living on an island, every day is a very laid back kinda day.
Mike started diving today which I’m not so secretly very jealous of. He gets to spend day in and day out in that gorgeous water doing exactly what he loves to do. I’m so happy for him. There is nothing I enjoy more than seeing the people I love happy, and ladies and gentlemen, the man I love is radiating happiness.
So today Mike was off to his first dive, taking the bike we rented in my name, meaning I was essentially shit out of luck today on transportation.
After Mike left, I lolly gagged around the bungalow for a little bit. Sweeping the floors and rinsing out the cereal bowls. I decided to head to the beach around 10:30. It’s about a 2 minute walk from our bungalow to the beach path, and than another 10 minute walk down the path to the ocean. It’s an easy walk down, but when it was time to come back up I sure as hell got my fat ass kicked. Moving here, living in the jungle and on top of a mountain is going to be the best work out of my life.
My boyfriend missed a good beach day, it was full of petite foreign women walking around with their tops off, rolling in the shallow waters, and drinking changs. For a second, I considered taking my top off and letting my girls feel free but I wasn’t trying to get boob-burn and my boyfriends the only man I really care for checking out my rack. So my top stayed on and I read my book for a while. After getting sweaty and dying to go in the water (even though I’m not supposed to submerge my stitches) I rebelled against the clinical doctors order and jumped right in. I swam with the fish for a little than went back to the coast line and laid in the sand as the little waves crashed over me.
Heaven.
Eventually I realize my stitches are grossly oozing and head up to the restaurant (the same one I’m currently sitting at) and I order my favorite coconut shake and some fried noodles.
 I read my book more, and check a few emails. I secretly miss Mike already, I feel pathetic.
I pay my bill and can’t find a shady spot to nap, so head back up to the bungalow. It’s an uphill battle, but I make it back home in about 10 minutes, dripping sweat I hop in the shower to rinse off. I realize Mike has stopped home for lunch because there is a dirty dish in the sink and an open jar of peanut butter sitting on the fridge, don’t worry babe, I’ll clean up! I finally lay on my bed happy to not be sharing the fan with anyone and I PTFO (pass the F out)
When I wake up, I think about bringing laundry down the street to be cleaned, but I opt out.. There’s always tomorrow.

I head back down to the beach, where my story began. I’ve found my spot in the restaurant, ordered my coconut shake and sit waiting for Mike, hoping he gets my note. And about an hour after I got here, I turn around to see my handsomely sun kissed blonde. So I’ll end my day for you here because my best friend is home for the evening and I’ve been waiting all day to be able to sit and talk with him!

Sorry, Mom

I’d like to first preface, Mom, if you are reading this im sorry… I suppose lets start at ground zero, breakfast. Back in the states, cereal was a norm for breakfast, maybe accompanied by some eggs and whatever else I could get my hands on (Im not fat, im just big boned).  As much as I would have liked to slap some oreos on my plate with those eggs, the thought of my mom slapping my head or flashing her “evil eye”, was enough to detour me from that.  Well, here there is no mom, but plenty of oreos.  I woke up yesterday and poured some cereal, topped it with oreos, and was in my glory.  Cassie attempted the “evil eye”, but could use some practice. After I satisfied my perculiar craving, Cassie and I headed to the beach for some of the best coconut shakes I have ever had.  Luckily, the establishment that offers them happens to be the closest to our house, has the best WiFi,  and also sits on my favorite beach.  Conveniently proceding the shakes I hopped in the water to try out some of my new camera equpiment, it was a success. 5 4 7 2 As beautiful a reef this was, I wanted more…I always do.  I dragged Cassie down her favorite dirt road (where she crashed the bike), to Tanote Bay, an undeniably beautiful piece of ocean.  This time there was no crash, probably due to the fact that I was in control of the bike…told you so.  Tanote Bay is a trecherous journey down a rock scaled path, and plumets to an obtuse incline.  Unforuntaely for Cassie and fun for me, It offers they only “wall” within swimming distance of shore.  A “wall” is a divers sanctuary, large rock and coral formations starting at very shallow depths, and suddenly dropping to sometimes hundreds of feet deep.  It offers a large variety of life, such as colorful plants, miniscule fish, and sometimes even home to weary travelers like sharks.

10 Feet

30 Feet

Yearning to join the divers below me ( at about 60 feet), but remembering I am not a fish, I ascend with my mask and snorkel and rejoin Cassie.  At this point she is sunbathing on a rock, moping about her not being able to submerge her stitches.  I make an executive decision, and decide the only way to cure her crankiness is to take a nap, I could use one myself. A one hour nap turned into a four hour nap, and it’s not until the setting sun pierces our retinas we decide it’s time to rise.  For days Cassie has been suggesting we go out on the town, I concur, and its a beautiful night to do so.  We have heard through the grapevine there is a “Lady-Boy” show starting at 10:30 pm.  I,  for the life of me….can’t turn it down.  It’s not with out a few drinks over a card game we build up the courage to set forth on our mission, and we call a cab. We mutually decide its best if we get a bite to eat, and continue with our buzz, so we take a table at a lovely spot called Choppers.   Cassie and I being some of the first people to arrive at the bar, it quickly fills to capacity when the live music starts (a universal language that brings everyone together).  We order a beer tower, which is three liters of Chang, for roughly ten dollars.  It turns out our eyes were bigger than our stomachs and we wind up donating some to the already drunk population, cheers.  After drinking our body weight in Chang, we notice that Island Time got the best of us, and we are late for the show! Laughing our asses off and anticipating what awaits us, we stumble into the black-lit room, and our jaws drop.

11

My apology for the blur, when Im drunk I don’t seem to have much of a steady hand

Men, lots of them.  Men dressed in high heels, fish net skirts, wigs, and plenty of make up.  Men parading about, giving the crowd what they came to see, and marveling in the spot light.  To my surprise they looked and acted like any regular woman.  Shoulders a tad broad, necks a bit muscular, voices a bit deepened, none the less a better job than I could have pulled off (foreshadowing). It was at this point, in between my drunken giggles and half slurred jokes, something happened.  Something I would have never imagined. The room withdraws of light for a brief moment, and when they turn back on all I can remember is Cassie pointing at me, volunteering me, but for what you ask? With out my consent, but too stunned to realize whats happening, one of the contenders takes me by the arm and into the back room, along with six other volunteers from the crowd, all men.  We all stare blankly at each other, as we are ordered to take off our shirts.  Before I know it I am half naked,  being dressed up in a wig and some other type of chest garment ( Sorry, Mom).  Once more the room withdraws of light.  This time however, when the light returns to the room, the spot light is not on the performers, but on us.  A rough, manly set of hands push me into the middle of the stage, surrounded by the crowd, all laughing and getting more than what they expected.  A feeling of stage fright courses through my body, than I think to myself… “Oh, what the hell”. I danced, jumped, shook my ass for the crowd, my brunette wig flapping in the humid air.  Brief glimpses of the crowd hysterically laughing gave evidence that I was doing a fine job.  All seven of us basked in the spot light, giving the crowd what they came to see.  They cheered and whistled and clapped their hands, enjoying the show and marveling in what must have been the strangest site they’d laid eyes on.  Finally, after a good effort from all of us, the performers took us back stage after bowing and receiving recognition from the crowd.  As we took off our garments and re-clothed, we laughed, shook hands, and joked about who wore it better.  We said our goodbye’s and rejoined the crowd, a little sweatier, a little wiser, but happy to have participated. After the show let out, it was time to sleep it off.  We wait for a cab and head back to the house, not before grabbing the best crepe I’ve ever tasted,  from a street cart. Life is about trying new things, crossing your comfort zone and pushing the threshold.  Sure, sometimes that means dressing up as a woman and dancing around, but so be it.  We made the best of an already splendid night out, and if I could do it all again…I’d rather a blonde wig than a brunette; it compliments my eyes. Goodbye for now, your lady-boy blogger- Mike 10

It’s all about the Journey

It’s hard to complain about today starting off as a bad day when in reality we are living on an island surrounded by beautiful oceans and breath taking views, but this morning started off rough. After the accident, (Yeah, Mike …you told me so) we’ve just dished out about 600 USD. And than we understandably found out we won’t be getting our deposit back from our shitty bungalow. So in total; we woke up about 1,000 USD poorer. In perspective, that money could have paid our rent for a quarter of the year. It could have paid for both of our visa trips, both times. (We are currently on a 4 month, double entry tourist visa.. Aka need to cross the boarder twice to still be legal immigrants) It probably could have paid for an unlimited supply of Pad Thai and Chang for at least 3 months. In this country, 1,000 American dollars can go a very, very long way. So you can see why we were a little bummed starting off our day like this, when we haven’t even been here for a whole week. Anyway, as Bob Marley always reminds us, “Every little thing is gonna be alright” and so we moved on with our day. 


Our landlords at our bungalow are sweat hearts. The woman is from here and her husband is Swiss. The man took Mike to go rent a bike from a more reputable place (we’re working on buying one) as I began to unpack our belongings and started to organize a little bit.

When he returns we head into town.
It’s a beautiful day. A little cloudy, and as always my skin is a little damp with sweat, and I can see the condensation rolling off my beer bottle. There’s a nice breeze blowing my hair off my sticky neck every so often. It doesn’t feel as nice as my already habitual float in the ocean would have, but no one can reject the enjoyment of a nice breeze on a hot day.
We agree to stop for lunch at a burger place we pass by. After we ate we headed to the market and bought some necessities – bleach, rags, plates, cups(utensils ect), beer, vodka and a few other items. We also bought a new lock for our bungalow (even though our landlords told us not to) but earlier we had discovered any key can open the door when Mike accidentally walked in using the bike key.
We head back to the bungalow, me on the back of the bike, holding onto Mike with an extra firm grip today. I take a mental note on how impressive my sense of direction has been since moving here. My backpack is weighing me down from everything we purchased.

It was about 5pm when I finished deep cleaning and almost had completely finished unpacking our new home. I sent mike off to enjoy some snorkeling and run a few errands, insisting that I was fine. I honestly don’t really mind cleaning, it’s even a little fun when your scrubbing and dancing around to “Dancing in the Moonlight” 
It’s pretty hot living with just fans and no AC, but somehow I think we’ll manage.
When Mike got home (home! We are home!) I finished what I was doing, we showered, and headed into town to check out the fair. Its only about a 5 minute ride on the moped. The fair was more of a NYC canal street, I managed to hassle my way to a pair of closed toe easy slide on shoes and flowy pants for only about 10$ total . For the first time in my life, I really actually needed to buy shoes. I don’t like riding on the moped with sandals and out of respect we need to take our shoes off at almost every place we wind up, so my little red converse did not pass the test on this island.

Anyway, the reason we went to the fair to begin with is I saw someone post on the FB Koh Tao community board that the fair was serving bugs. When we first decided to move to Thailand, Mike brought up how badly he wanted to eat bugs. So, since he took such good care of me last night, I decided to make my baby happy and feed him some bugs. 

EL OH EL

We spent 20 TBH (20 Baht: 60 cents USD) on a little baggy of cooked grasshoppers and larva. To my surprise.. But not really.. Mike forced me into trying one, insisting “it tastes like chicken!”

If that’s what Mike thinks chicken tastes like than I’m afraid to ask him for a bite of his steak.
It was crunchy, fishy, cat foody, salty, goosh-y, cockroachy, grossness.
But really, with all do respect; try it!
We left the fair soon after to find a real dinner.
We ended up in Sairee Beach, walking around a little and finally deciding on a little place right next to the she-man strip club. We ordered 5 beers, 2 water bottles, one order of yellow curry with chicken and an order of red curry with duck for a total of 590 TBH (14 USD). Per usual, we found ourselves together feeling good, happy, and free. …(and full)

So you know what? Today started off rough. But hey, that’s life. And even though we are yes, living in paradise, we also need to remember that we are still human beings and still living a reality. Life doesn’t always go accordingly but that’s never stopped us in the past, in fact, as I remember it’s always made us wiser and more understanding.
So here I am now, laying in my new bed, next to the man I choose to spend my days with, he’s rolled on his side enjoying some soft music from his laptop as we both share the only fan we have blowing heavily and directly on us. We hear thunder,
the leaves start to rattle and the wind is hitting them harder and harder with every new blow. The sky starts lighting up every few minutes as we anticipate a storm, I bring in everything hanging on our clothes line out front alone as mike has already fallen asleep.
So I’m going to end my story here, and enjoy this night with the man who deserves endless back tickles and all my lovin’
& As always, my heart is happy & today was wonderful.
Lots of love
– Cassie